Wet Hades Dream

     I dreamed I was on a boat, a small one with only two masts, and we had landed on some foreign shore. The shore turned out to be the outer part of Hades.
     I got involved with a couple of sexy women who were being accused of something which they didn't do. Although I am not sure of the particulars, I am sure that we hit it off quite well as there was quite the celebratory orgy when their jury acquitted them and released them to go with us. One of the women had the cutest little bottom, and I loved running my fingers over her moist wetness and into her while she swallowed me.
     We sailed and in the sailing managed to pick up an escort of other ships.
     The other ships were crewed with the damned who wanted to follow us out of Hades. One boat wasn't satisfied to follow us, it began to overtake us with its crew massed at the bow ready to board. While many of the other small boats were crewed by sad-eyed people of normal or even friendly disposition, the ship that loomed ever closer was crewed by a meaner looking lot. My crew, mostly women, didn't have much of a chance against such pirates. The only advantage we had was that we were a much smaller vessel, and thus could maneuver with greater speed. Although the pirate crew were brandishing pistols, they didn't seem to be able to fire them at us.
     I made us come about and sail back up stream. It suddenly dawned on me that we didn't really have to sail to a specific location, only a certain amount of time. Some of the other small boats turned to sail with us. I shouted out to them that there was no magic portal, they were welcome to sail with us, but I couldn't say if they would be able to get back to the world.
     We shouted back and forth with several boat loads of people. Slowly they realized that I was right, and some wept and some turned their boats away. A few stayed with us, holding on to a last hope, or, like one ghost ship,trying to protect us from the pirates. The ghost boat zipped ahead of us and then shot back alongside, aimed directly at the pirate vessel. I swung us around behind them, and we pulled the mostly female crew out of the water as their ghost boat rammed the pirate vessel. The pirate vessel was unable to come about fast enough to catch us, and I knew we would be able to escape them now. I welcomed the ghost crew aboard.
     Part of me wanted to know what they'd done to be stuck here on the river, part of me didn't. A lanky and well endowed brunette seemed to understand my unstated question.
     "We died without really living, all of us. Whether we were coached, conned or just afraid, we were convinced not to live our lives, but to just go along. Then, suddenly, we weren't even going along any more. We never allowed ourselves to be loved, or to truly love."
     "Well, sacrificing yourselves for us, isn't that a kind of love?"
     "I...I guess it is."
     We embraced our saviors and there were many wet hugs and even some playful kissing and groping. Another orgy ensued, and with that we crossed back into the true world. Oddly, several of the wet and yummy crew from the ghost ship stayed with us and became fully solid and real. I had no identification papers for them, though and didn't know how I would explain their presence if anyone asked.

Alien Invasion, Multidimensional Helicopter Toy

      I dreamed the Earth was invaded by intelligences from other dimensions. They took over a significant portion of the population. About one in 100 of us was immune to the take over, and others, like myself, were able to come to terms with our invader and create a sort of symbiosis. At one point I was able to ride back into the other dimension with my partner, and I could see the literally billions of mind containers that were stored waiting for life forms to take over. We returned, and I and my symbiotic mind set about designing a computerized interface for the storage units that would allow us to build robotic bodies for all the aliens.
      I was in a cafeteria when the aliens delivered a helicopter like toy with a strange gyroscopic interior. Like a gyroscope if you pushed on it the toy would move 90 degrees from the direction of the force, trying to preserve its angular momentum. A group of us played with it for awhile and the toy crashed a couple of times, stopping after a bit.
      I opened it up at the insistence of a little red-haired girl and a blonde with long hair in an Alice in Wonderland costume. Inside was the motor and the strange multidimensional gyroscopes. I was able to rewire the battery leads and get the gyros working again. I wondered what would happen if we could push from all directions at once If the whole toy would move into the other dimension. I wanted to take the toy apart to figure out how it was really working.
      The girls didn't let me try the experiment, though. The blonde in the pinafore climbing into my lap and smooching all over my face, begging me to let them play with the toy some more. I launched the machine into the air for them to play with. I desperately tried to remember how the multidimensional gyros were built as I struggled awake. As I got more awake I also noticed that my rational mind was interfering with the dream physics and the toy wasn't quite as responsive or spectacular as before. The crashes looked more and more like the scenes of an RC helicopter crashing from Myth Busters I had watched just before going to bed.

Photo Contest

      I dreamed I was taking photos for a contest, having worked my way through the previous few days shooting two other models. I was the only amateur in a group of 5 photographers, so the contest organizers had paired me with the least well known models first. During the setup (at a pool at the Playboy mansion) one of the judges came up to me and told me to go ahead and "cut loose, experiment." I'd already been judged the best in the first three photo shoots, so'd already won the prize. They really wanted to see what I could get from the two well known models that remained, and if if it was good enough, they would think about hiring me. The judge was particularly impressed that I had shot their most "difficult" meaning plain, unfortunately, model so well that the art director didn't want to use the airbrush on my images. The art director claimed that I'm managed to make skin texture look sexy.
      Good thing, since I think skin texture is sexy.
      During the shoot there were several background models, including an extremely freckled woman in a one piece bathing suit. I liked the pro models I was working with, but made sure I had Freckles in a few shots, and then worked up the courage to ask if I could shoot her (I really didn't want to know what the cost was going to be.) Upon getting closer, she took off her shades and we realized that we knew one another, and were both a little bit surprised to find one another at the Playboy Mansion. She was modeling to make some industry contacts, which she decided she needed to help jumpstart her career. She'd decided after being here just a few hours to keep her shades on, as she didn't think she'd be taken seriously after working as living scenery at a Playboy party.
      I explained that I'd just won a contest that allowed me to be part of the Playboy photographer contest, I was the token "average reader." Even though I really wasn't a reader. We had a good laugh, and she agreed to model for me later. Maybe we could make each other famous.

DROG20061223 Parking at the Mall

      Dreamed of parking at the mall and trying to find the movie theater. It seemed like my companions and I searched for over an hour and finally I made them get back in the car and drove them back into the parking lot to get the proper bearings, or to drive into the right universe, I'm not sure what really happened.
      The movie theater was right where I remembered it being from a previous dream. Only this time there wasn't a video wall and game show questions.

Mountain Phoenix

      I dreamed I was in the mountains of a distant country. I had worked several days to get permission to climb a certain mountain. It was not the tallest mountain around and it had not even poked above the tree line, but the valley it grew out of was so deep it seemed very tall. The local authorities couldn't give any reasonable explanation of why it took so long to give me permission to hike on the mountain, but had stalled me none-the-less.
      I hiked up the mountain. There really was no climbing until I was a few hundred feet from the top, and even then I climbed a dozen yards or so until I came to a switchback filled path. I had been expecting to find the path, but didn't know what to expect once I reached the path's end. I trudged up the path, crushing the dried leaves of several seasons under my feet. Though the leaf debris was fairly thick, I could tell there was a good solid stone road beneath the layer of decaying leaves. I supposed that every so often the winter storms would wash the roads clean. There hadn't been storms for several years.
      I reached the end of the path. There was a cave opening with wooden doors across it near the top of the mountain. The cave was flanked by two trees that had not begun to turn yet. I looked back over the path I'd navigated, the treetops around the road were a blaze of red and orange leaves. I could make out the switchbacks in the spaces between the branches and could even make out the trail where the tree canopy was thin. I noticed a large number of people in blue and black silk jackets making their way up the mountain's access road. I didn't think they would be stopping at the shrine at the base of the mountain this time. I opened the wooden doors and stepped into the warm dry cave.
      Other than the doors, the predominant feature was a large nest made of thin branches and in the middle of the nest was a large egg shaped stone. The whole structure as about 6 feet across and three feet high. There was a sort of carved stone base beneath it adding another foot or so. The ceiling of the cave was open in a small hole above it. It looked like it was meant to be a bonfire.
      I walked around it. Behind the bonfire a crumpled banner or kite was discarded against the base of the wall. I unfurled it. The banner shook the dust from itself and felt warm and living to the touch, like silk that is being worn. I stepped outside into the sunlight. The banner was yellow-gold with a large black bird painted in the center of the banner. The air stirred and I held the banner aloft. It rippled and became even more like a kite. The kite pulled at my arms and I heard shouts from below. I let the banner go. It rose on the wind, rippling and turning. I saw the black shape of the bird pull in the yellow silk and draw in the sunlight. Beams shot past me through the open doors and into the nest.
      Flames shot throughout the room, smoke poured out of the top of the mountain. I stepped cautiously into the cave to see what had happened.
      A magnificent fire colored raptor sat in the embers of the nest, preening itself. It looked at me, tilting its head to bring both eyes to bear on me. The phoenix chirruped and cooed. The sounds of shouting villagers echoed up the mountain side. The phoenix cawed and unfurled its wings. Flames rippled still along its trailing edges. The phoenix launched itself for the doors. It touched me on the shoulder as it passed, its clawprint burning into my left shoulder through my thin shirt. I was glad I'd taken my jacket off. It would have been ruined. I cringed from the pain and patted out the fire. The phoenix swooped back and called back to me, urging me to hurry, urging me to take the stone egg. Although I had originally had no intention of doing any looting, I just wanted to see what was at the top of the mountain, I grabbed the still hot stone and wrapped it in my jacket. The phoenix called after me and began to lead me down the path to a location it knew about and was trying to communicate to me. I could almost hear its voice in my mind.
      I made my way down the switchbacks, finding a place above the path to hide among some rocks as the town's people passed beneath us. They were shouting and gesturing at the phoenix as it flew further and further out from the mountain, but always circling back just out of rifle range. When the crowds had reached the top of the mountain I climbed down and made my way down the mountain with the egg shaped stone. As I approached the bottom of the hill the phoenix swooped down low enough to distract the guards and I walked right past them.
      The phoenix swooped low and grabbed me by each shoulder, I could feel the heat running though me and into the egg without damaging me. Apparently I was immune to being burned while carrying the egg. A gentle and grateful voice affirmed what I had surmised as we were surrounded by fire and shot at incredible speed across the land and over the ice and snow covered mountains around the valley.
      I chose our destination, my new ally not having any particular desire or goal other than to be free to travel the world again and to be a part of big things. I wasn't so sure about the big things portion of the deal, but the phoenix seemed content to travel with me, so I accepted that we were now partners. We landed and I took the form of a large black panther, (the dream me wasn't surprised by this, but the real me and the phoenix were) the phoenix egg becoming part of me and somehow still separate. I raced on all fours leaping from boulder to boulder while the flames from the trailing edge of the phoenix's wings provide enough light for me to choose my path. As I leapt, mostly for the sheer joy of being able to leap twenty feet at a time, the phoenix rolled through the sky, much for the same reason. I could definitely feel the phoenix asking if I could transform into a bird, or even another phoenix. I indicated that I would have to work on it, and if not, there were bound to be other phoenixes out there somewhere.

9 New Cats, Water Ballet Working the Pump Cage

            I dreamed I was living with N in Mom and Dad's house. I came home from work and there were a couple of white kittens romping in the living room. They scampered out into the patio. N was there with their Mom cat, and another mom cat with kittens. Nine new cats in total. Three white, a mom and two of her kittens, the others were a calico mom and three calico kittens as well as two harlequin kitten.

            "What are we going to do with nineteen cats?"

            "They need to be taken care of, there wasn't anyone else."

 

            In my next dream I was in some sort of cage structure by a pool located at the end of a lake. Our water ballet dancers were covered with soap bubbles and sent out onto the lake to perform. When they returned they were topless under the bubbles, for some reason this surprised me, even though I knew we were doing a nude water ballet. The boaters began to come over to our dock area and I had to start running the pump up and down by pushing against the top bars of my cage then squatting up and down in rhythm with the pump.

            I was apparently part of the show in my sequin covered shorts. The water I was pumping went into a water fall that in turn filled the performance pool. There was a group in a connected hot tub, arguing about who had to wear the tails for the show. One of the new performers asked what was so bad about the tail, so they handed him one.

            "How am I supposed to wear this? There's no strap."

            No one said anything as he turned the thing over looking at the latex plug on the end of the tail.

            "Oh!"

             They looked up at me. "I'm working, and I already have my costume." I said and continued pumping the water into the waterfall for the show. I was thinking to myself that I was too old to be in a topless water ballet. Apparently I was the only one with the right combination of strength and rhythm to work the pump cage. Oh, and I got to sing, too.

 

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A-wing recon, Mummified Giants

            I dreamed I was flying through a heavily forested area in an A-Wing, following a river. I was looking for intruders. There had been an invasion of sorts and the invaders were finally making their moves. The mission profile was essentially a recon; draw fire and use return force only to the extent needed to make your way out.

            The head's up display in the cockpit added a grey flag to any suspected structure or emplacement. At one point I flew across the open river bed under an arched canopy of tall trees. The head's up display sprang to life with literally dozens of flags. Soon I was taking small arms fire from several emplacements along the river bank. We started the sensor recordings, (we being myself and the astromech droid) and I made for the lower branches of the trees.

            There was barely enough space for me to fly through the lower branches. I was able to shake a couple of pursuers by doing so. The pursuers were some sort of bandaged being mounted on a giant insect with jet turbines attached. I'm fairly certain the insects were not just machines designed to look like insects. I just out flew them rather than dogfight them. (I suspect that I would not have been able to out maneuver them at all, but I was much faster.)

            I pulled out of the trees at the first opportunity and armed my concussion missiles. I could feel the loaders switching out the load of sensor drones in the missile bays on either side of the craft. I also started fully charging my lasers and shields. There were now hundreds of little grey flags superimposed over the landscape. I headed for one of the larger conglomerations.

            In a clearing I spotted several dozen aliens working on a giant mummy. I don't know what they were using for raw materials, but it looked like meat and bones, flesh and blood. The mummies were laid out between high-tech looking shelters and the tools and equipment being used to piece the automatons together looked very Star Wars modern but well used. I jetted over, taking close sensor readings. Again, I started to draw small arms fire.

            A giant mummy stood up directly in my path. It looked quite a bit like Radiment from the Diablo II game. Beams flashed from its eyes.

            I opened up with the cannons, but the laser blasts seemed to have no effect. Its wrappings seemed to absorb the damage. I fired two missiles into its face without a weapon lock, (the computer didn't seem to register it as a valid target.) The missiles struck a couple of seconds before I flew over the mummy. It toppled behind me. I spun the A-wing around in a flat spin, firing the remaining half load of concussion missiles behind me at the insects rising from the ground.

            Even though the A-Wing is aerodynamic, it is still an anti-grav science fiction fighter. What a cool maneuver. I was however slowing down as I couldn't thrust as hard in reverse.

            I transferred power to the engines and spun back around. The loaders chunked and I fired the last few sensor drones out in a spiral away from my path, spraying them in all directions. I accelerated at the edge of the inertial compensator's ability to keep me conscious. I fired the remaining energy stored in the laser batteries ahead of my path to clear an escape route. I stayed close to the ground until I was out of the grey flag territory, then doubled the rear deflector (I was still taking some fire from a large ground based turbo laser) and angled myself for the sky. I wove up into the clouds to avoid taking any more damage from the big guns. The Astromech gave the system an all clear and I micro jumped to orbital distance and began downloading my sensor data to a nearby frigate.

            The Frigate signaled me to report to a nearby cruiser rather than land at home. It looked like I was going to get to escort some B-Wings on a "recon in force." The rest of my squadron was already in transit to the cruiser, they were in old X-wings. I'd hoped they would have at least sent the other 3 recon A-wings; we could really use the speed against the insect "ships" of the enemy.

 

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Dodging the Construction Vehicles

            I dreamed I was driving along the I15 North and shot down the side the road and down into a construction site where there used to be an off ramp. I found myself dodging the large earth moving equipment and trying to find a path back onto the freeway. I could see where I needed to be, but not how to get there from where I was.

            I could see that I had to go over the lake and come back the other way, that side of the freeway off ramp was no longer under construction. At this point my brain started to protest, because the reality of this interchange is that the freeway overpass is still missing, so getting back on the freeway and getting off at that exit still means a four mile detour to get to where you need to go. I essentially started arguing with myself at that point, real me vs. dream me.

            The argument just went around in circles and finally got so bad that I ended up in Lake Hodges among the drowned trees. "Now look, I've scratched the car!"

            "Not to mention that it's sinking."

            “This is a stupid dream. I think you need to wake up now. “

            “You need to wake up now.”

            Somehow I think I was supposed to learn something from this.

 

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Burning Down the House

Party of 150

            I dreamed of the large haunted house on the outskirts of The Dream City. I was hosting a party for about 150 guests. The house was filled with guests, every room on the ground floor but the kitchens, hidden hallway and bathrooms had dozens of people in them. I moved from group to group making sure the guests were being served. Some of the service staff was living beings from the caterers, and some were my ghost staff. As the party got going with music and dancing out in the canopied ball room extension and the ballroom itself, I excused myself to greet some late arrivals.

 

Ghost Tour

            I was showing the late arrivals around the house, taking them through the double kitchens, into the main foyer and, if they were brave enough to the haunted hallway.

            My kitchen staff was working furiously to keep up with the demands of the party, utensils and dishes were being lifted up and over the cook's heads by my ghostly staff members. My guests, in many cases were surprised by the number and activity of spirits in the kitchens and among the service staff.

            The ghostly staff met us in the main foyer with champagne flutes. We drank a toast to celebrate nothing, and everything. Some of the guests proceeded out to the main party, which was going strong out in the ballroom and the canopies in the back property. The party area was new, much more level than I'd remembered.

            The rest of the party desired to go with me into the Hidden Hallway, which I called the Haunted Hallway. I explained that the spirits in the house were mostly benign and helpful, but not all of them. We went into the narrow hallway, entering through a panel in the back of a drawing room off the main foyer. The other side of the panel was a mirror in a hall full of mirrors. The mirrors were in all sorts of shapes and sizes. The largest taking up one end of the hallway, the smallest no larger than a compact, although the frame was about 10 ornate inches around.

 

Hobgoblin in the Haunted Hall

            Upon entering the hallway, I explained that the spirit that resided here was not to be trifled with lightly. Everything was fairly calm, until the women in the group entered the hallway.

            The flames in the gas lamps along the hallway fluttered out and I turned on my flashlight. The electric lights didn't come on when I switched the switch.

            There were muffled oh's and a couple of terrified squeaks. Several of the guests backed out of the room as a chill wind blew through the hallway. Shadowy figures moved in the mirrors of the hallway.

            I pointed out that our reflections were no longer visible in the hallway mirrors; only the empty hall and an occasional glimpse of a shadow along the walls. This caused more of the guests to back out of the room. Only, one gentleman, a young woman and I were left. She was dressed in a sparkly outfit that somehow looked more like a cheerleader outfit than a semi-formal dress. I knew that would irritate the spirit of the hallway to no end.

            The young woman barged into the center of the hallway. "It's going to take more than cheesy special effects to scare me!"

            Although the spirit had not harmed anyone in recent memory, I knew that there were stories involving injury in the past. I walked into the hallway to go after her. I couldn’t reach her before the mirror at the end of the hallway shattered into thousands of shards of glass. I pulled the woman close and turned my back to the shards. They flashed past us, bouncing off the back of my long coat. The coat had stiffened and hardened as I turned.

            "Oh! Shi..." she was looking around my arms.

            I turned. The hobgoblin was there, in a hollow niche behind the mirror. Armored and angry, it charged down the hallway at us. I'd never seen the Hobgoblin of the Hidden Hallway manifest before. Something in this petite cheerleader had really roused its ire.

            I shook the glass out of my jacket and pulled it off as I charged back at the hobgoblin. I really didn't know what to expect, but I knew I didn't want any harm to come to my guests, even if they were being a little bit incautious.

            Me met two thirds down the hallway, as far as I'd ever actually made it down the hallway in the past, and then a little further. From somewhere the hobgoblin had produced a halberd. I knocked it aside with my long-coat and punched the hobgoblin in the nose, or would have, if it hadn't vanished with a bang just before I could connect. The halberd and the armor clattered against the thin carpet covering the tiled floor. I noticed a hollow sound on some of the tiles beneath where I stood and carefully backed down the hallway to where the woman was still standing in shock.

            "Where'd it go?"

            "I don't know," and really I didn't, but I knew it was no longer confined to the hall, although what had actually broken its containment, I didn't know either. I don't think it was prepared for an actual confrontation. "It isn't in the hallway, though."

            I gathered our guests and ushered them out to the main party.

           

Burning Down the House

            I found my butler and let him know the hobgoblin was loose. We immediately began to say goodnight to the folks who I knew would be going home early. I was glad to see the crowd was thinning out. I knew the hobgoblin was still out there. I also knew that as long as the good vibes of the party were in full swing, nothing bad could happen.

            Some of the serving girls reported seeing the hobgoblin making its way down into the cellars under the kitchens. It had frightened them, but they being spirits themselves had merely slipped away through the walls out of its reach. It was fully corporeal again, according to the maids. "What's going to happen?"

            "I don't know, but we've got to make sure our guests are safe."

            The nervousness of the staff, and the tale told by the young woman began to wear on the good will of the party. The jitteriness about being at a haunted house, which the music and food and fun had subsumed earlier was now returning among the guests. I knew that telling them to be happy, don't worry, was not going to work, it would only impress upon them the fact that there was something to be worried about.

            The kitchen staff reported that some of their spirit helpers had vanished.

            The party started breaking up. I was seeing the guests out from the main foyer when I caught sight of the Hobgoblin, torches in either hand, racing across the front of the house. I instructed the butler to evacuate the rest of the guests down the side road.

            My guests in the foyer made it out to their cars and drove away while the walls inside the front of the house were beginning to burn with a magical fire.

            As the fire spread I went back into the house to warn the spirits to take refuge away from the fire. I asked my chauffeur to move as many cars out into the yard as it was safe to do so. "Start with the Bentley; we need to get the others home after this."

            "Yes sir." I could tell he was disappointed as the Bentley was really a bus compared to the other little sporty cars I owned.

            Several spirits who were bound to physical objects pressed those objects into my hands. The woman who'd accidentally triggered all this found me. She and a couple of others helped me move several of the larger items to a small stone room in the center of the house. We rode out the rest of the fire there. I could make the various walls transparent and we were able to watch the progress of the fire. Once the immediate area was clear of fire, I stepped out to face the hobgoblin.

            I made my way through the charred rubble to the location of the hidden hallway. The Hobgoblin followed, making a raging inarticulate noise that, I supposed, was laughter. I wasn't really angry, but was concerned, more in a state of shock. The entire structure was gone, reduced to smoldering ashes around me. Only the central few stone rooms remained standing. The hobgoblin was making its way across the rubble along the long axis of the house trying to intercept me before I reached the stone niche in which it had resided in all these centuries.

            I wasn't really headed for the stone niche, which was now revealed to be a tomb-like structure. The hobgoblin reached the tomb first, snarling at me. I picked through the rubble about 20 feet from it, confusing it.

            I stopped snarling and looked around in the tomb. It obviously didn't find what it thought needed its protection. It didn't find it, because it had left it in the hall when it had gone incorporeal to avoid my blow.

            I found the halberd just at the hobgoblin leapt through the air at me. I turned to meet it with the point of the halberd. The shock of the blow shuddered through my whole body. I slid backwards through the embers more than a yard. We both spotted the amulet it had dropped earlier.

            "I,"  I pulled the halberd out of its shoulder and rammed it into the hobgoblin's gut, "don't"  I hooked the amulet on the back of the halberd as I drew it out, “think"  tossing the amulet into the fire behind me. The goblin raced past me, leaping for it, "so!" I finished by removing the hobgoblin's head as it flew by. This time when it went incorporeal, it stayed that way.  The halberd sizzled and its blade melted as though dipped in acid.

            I reached into the fire and pulled out the amulet, pocketing it for future research. I turned back to my party guests who'd remained behind.

 

Underage Guest

            I got back to the rooms and the woman/cheerleader apologized for being such a horrible nuisance.

            "Is there anything I can do to make it up to you."

            "Sleep with me," I answered without hesitation.

            She blushed furiously.

            "Bear my children."

            "Sir, you can't talk like that..." she rushed over to a trunk and opened it, revealing her eight year old brother.

            "What did you expect me to say? You're barely and adult yourself; there is only a couple of things about you that could interest me. I’ve listed them, that's just the way it is."

            "I see." She pouted, but it wasn't working on me.

            "Let's get you people home." I went through the other rooms and gathered the now ragged looking group.

            I helped them make their way through the rubble, keeping them from the hot spots. They were thanking me for working so hard to save them, and being amazed that I couldn't be burned by the hot embers. I opened the doors to the Bentley on one side, my driver on the other, and with everyone loaded we then we headed down the hill. We stopped at the outer gates. My ghostly butler was there, tears in his eyes.

            "We'll be back in a bit. Lots of cleanup to do, find out who's left, let me know who'll be staying on." I knew that some of the spirits were bound to the buildings, and would now be free to go on to their next adventure. I was beginning to think that this was possibly a good thing, especially now that the magic of this place wasn't yoked to an innately evil source. Sure, there wasn't as much magic, but that meant that we would just have to throw more parties to build up the reserve, and good will.

            "Yes sir, thank you for not abandoning us."

            "You're all like family to me. I will do everything I can for you."

 

Like a Bentley Out of Hell

            We started down the hill, my driver, eight party guests and me.

            The driver was driving very slowly. I put up with it for awhile then asked, "Is my mother in the car."

            "No, sir."

            "Why do you think I hired a retired race car driver?"

            "Sir? Ah, yes sir?" The Bentley accelerated smoothly on the next strait and braked hard into the curve, we careened around the corner, no skidding though, the huge car hugged the road like a sport model one third its size.

            "That's more like it.” I turned to my guests, “We'll have you all home before breakfast."

            "Thank you sir, I've always wanted to open her up on this road." The driver called back.

            I turned to my guests. "We need a little safe excitement after this evening. Let me know if it is too much for anyone."

            No one complained and the kid hung over the seat looking out the back window to get a better view down the side of the mountain.

            We dropped everyone off at their homes, leaving the girl and her little brother. They didn't have a home, it turns out. They'd planned on staying at my place (thus the stowaway act.)

            "I've still got three rooms; let's get you guys sorted out."

            I turned to the driver, "Home, then you can take the next couple of days off. I'm glad you hadn't moved in yet."

            "Yes sir, call me if you need me."

            "Take the roadster; you'll be able to make it up the hill faster than with a car."

            "Thank you sir, I've been looking forward to driving that car."

            "It is one of my favorites. No flying in the city though."

 

Imagination Room

            Back at the mansion there were three rooms left, the end of the front hall, and two large square rooms, one slightly smaller than the other. Both of these rooms had shiny blue tiles that had a kind of difficult to describe luminescence and depth to them. I explained to my guests that these were the imagination room. I told them I needed to swim to relax and dove for the floor. They yelped and then stood back in awe as I splashed into deep water and began to swim the length of the room.

            "I want to swim, too," the kid said. "but the water's too deep."

            "It's an imagination room.” I explained, “If you want the water to be only three foot deep all around you, then it's three foot deep. For me, I like to not be able to touch the bottom. For you, three feet would be deep enough."

            The boy stepped into the water. He was a natural. I swam under him and to his sister. "Coming in?"

            "No. I want to make breakfast."

            "That would be nice." I didn’t see any of my kitchen staff. I made a note to check the cellars in the morning.

            She went into the smaller square of the imagination room and found a kitchen and breakfast supplies there. (As I knew she would, having created them for her to find.) I swam over as she was setting the table. She didn't notice me at first.

            "I don't think I could ever get used to that." She looked down at me.

            I enjoyed swimming under the table and chairs, and noticed that she had really pretty lace panties on under her skirt. I decided not to say anything about that, just yet.

            "Could someone just live here in the imagination rooms?

            "I suppose, but there's so much more out there, and sometimes the stability of real structures is important. You're welcome to stay until we can get you and your brother settled. He's a natural at this, by the way. Not many can walk into an imagination room and make it work like this, especially not with someone like me already creating such a powerful setting. Your brother has real talent; we need to get him in school while he's still young."

            "I can't afford that."

            "I can."

            "I don't think I want to pay the price."

            "Up to you, but I can still afford to put one kid through school."

            "I can work it off. I can run your kitchen."

            "I have kitchen staff." I climbed out of my pool, standing over her, "and a butler, and maids, and gardeners, and mechanics and a driver."

            She stood quietly; thinking desperately of what was left that she could do that didn't involve more personal service to me. I enjoyed the bounce of her soft curls and her large wet brown eyes as she turned her face up to me.

            "I'd hoped you wouldn't be so likable."

            "Oh, I'm not, really. Talk to the staff."

            "The ghosts?"

            "Any of them."

            "I did, they all love you, respect you..."

            "And..." I prodded her.

            "I think they're all little afraid of you."

            "Now I think you're just projecting."

            "You killed a hobgoblin. Hobgoblins can't be killed, everyone knows that, unless...unless." Her eyes grew wide.

            "Unless what?"

            "You, you're something much worse than a hobgoblin." She started away.

            "So is your brother." That brought her up short. "That's why it is in all our interests to get him into school, soon. I think that's what brought you here in the first place, isn't it. You know, and always knew he would need some sort of help."

            She nodded, idly flipped sausages on the stove. They smelled delicious. (Not quite as good as her, but good in a different way.)

            "He will get the schooling he needs. It is in my interests to make that happen. You, though, what am I to do about you?"

            "Eat breakfast, please."

            We sat to eat, her brother racing to the table in new clothing, thanks to the imagination room. "Look at what I made!"

            His sister gushed over him, finally getting the breakfast in front of him to go into him after a lengthy discussion of the wonders of the imagination room. I nodded at his words; it was similar to my own first experience with an imagination room. I believed that she would make a good nanny or mother. Motherhood or cheerleading, really, those were roles she was well qualified for.

           

Ad astra per technica,

FF

 

Haunted Hellementary, Google Bus

Media Assistant at a Haunted Hellementary School.

 

            I dreamed that N and I had retired and moved to a small community in a heavily forested area. It wasn't long before I was drawn back to work at the local Elementary school as a Media technician. I was helping get the library computer lab all set up, then ran a bunch of TV cables to the DVD players in their classroom. I got to the multi-purpose room, and the teacher who was using it commented that the room was haunted.

            I said "that's interesting" and the teacher could tell from my tone that I didn't really think so.

            "Watch this." she went to the back of the MPR where there was a sound mixer and a synthesizer. She started the drum synth running.

            "Now, when we play a certain drum riff, the place goes crazy." She switched to the drum riff. The lights immediately started to go on and off on their own.

            I walked over to see what she was doing on the synth. She took her hands off, and the music continued on its own. I disconnected the midi control to the sound board. Still, the music kept playing. The lights started to swivel around.

            "Now, watch along the wall, there!" she pointed.

            There was an orb of light racing along the wall. It was vaguely human shaped. I could tell the light source was the moving lighting instruments. (Though that didn't explain how it was that they were moving, and much faster than the little motors should have been able to move them.)

            As suddenly as the light show started, it was over and everything was back to normal.

            "We try not to do that when kids are around."

            "I should say so. What happens if you turn off the power during the display?"

            "The power was off. Only the keyboard has power."

            I checked, and the lighting control system was off, even the plug was pulled out of the wall.

 

Google Bus

            I dreamed I was at Pizza Night with A and S plus a few others. I'd had my usual and was feeling pretty talkative. I had a funny idea. We should start a business and let Google buy us out.

            "What sort of business."

            "A free bus service, all 100% advertising supported. The WiFi would default to their search page." I smiled.

            "And Google would buy that because?"

            "Google Bus is just such a cool name."

            It sounded much funnier in the dream.

 

Ad astra per technica,

FF