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Fermius Firefly

A Dream Log, whenever I remember the dreams I've had.

My Photo
Location: San Marcos, United States

Fermius is a pen name drawn from a series of short fiction I wrote when I published the small press magazine Stellanova (on paper.) I play RPG games to escape from my daily grind as a technology wage slave for the state of California. I eat out a lot in order to do my part in supporting our increasingly service level economy. I am butler to 2 feline masters. If you ask them they will tell you I'm not very good at it, late with dinner, don't have enough hands with brushes in them, and sometimes I even lock them out of their office.

Thursday, September 28, 2006

Ambushed While Bicycling

            I Dreamed I was biking along a twisty forest road with a little girl, 9 or so. She was giving me a tour of the mountain. At one point, just before a bunch of steep downhill switchbacks, she ducked onto a trail along side the road. “This is a shortcut!”

I shouted out that my 10 speed wasn't a mountain bike, but didn't want to be separated from her so put the brakes on and turned down the dirt path after her.

            The wheels of the 10 speed were not rolling, but the bike and myself kept picking up speed and sliding down the hillside. I finally had to put my feet down and bring the bike to a stop. The kid was a couple of turns ahead, just out of sight, but not earshot, when she started hollering for help. I dropped the bike to the side of the trail and ran down after her. She had crashed and her bike was a twisted wreck. She looked like she was OK, though.

            Something hit me from behind. A large animal, or a person, I really couldn’t tell, began striking me on the head and pulling me back into the brush by my arms. I shouted at her to run back to my bike and take the road home. "Use the small gear in front..."

            That was the last thing I said, not being able to finish the thought (and the large ones in back to go up hills.) She ran back up the trail to my bike. I kept wrestling with the thing in the bushes, trying to distract it long enough for the kid to get away, trying to keep it from knocking me out. I heard her push the ten-speed out of the brush over the sounds of my own struggle, but she was coming down the trail, not going up to safety. I think she was trying to save me, as the empty bike crashed into my assailant and then curled, broken, down the slope. The being barely seemed to notice, but it distracted it enough to allow me to get one arm free.

            I could see a home tucked away in the forest just a couple of dozen feet from where I was wrestling, but had the suspicion that the home belonged to whatever was attacking me. There was a large white propane tank with a bright yellow cap, or perhaps logo on it, the wooden screen blocked the view of it from the house, but not from this little trail. I found that detail intriguing for some reason.


            That one ended without any resolution.


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Wednesday, September 27, 2006

Sound Tech Work Goes Haywire.

            Not so much a Nightmare as a Frustration. I was in a school multipurpose room, not really working, but present, when the sound system started feeding back and sounding poor. RG my boss asked me to take a look at it.

            So, in front of hundreds of bouncy students (who were also very chatty) I had to go up and look at the setup. What I found was a mess, there were 5 microphones connected into the system, one directly, and four through an old Yamaha PA amplifier.

            I tried to explain to the person running the sound that maxing everything out wasn't going to work. They needed to pick a mic or two for their presenters, and connect them both into the same system, then they could use the Yamaha to feed the main amp.

            While I was doing this, a wheelchair bound singer came in, and picked up the mic attached to the longest cord. I quickly figured out which one it was and set the system up to be as clean as possible. The performer then rolled out into the audience, dragging the cable behind, and pulling it through where it was duct taped to the floor.  The duct tape didn't hold and the cord was pulled out of its jack. Instant Feedback as loose wires shorted to ground. I slammed the pot down and asked the person if they had any wireless equipment.

            He started up a DVD to try to get the kids to calm down. The wheelchair singer rolled back to the stage, apologizing for the “oops.” The board operator gave him two more mics and sent him out on stage next to the DVD image, which was now showing a slide show of cheerleaders, one of which I recognized as a porn star. I raced over to the DVD and stopped the projector, creating a spotlight for the singer (who now looked like a high school friend of mine, DL) to continue his song. The board op had the gain all the way up to feedback again, though.

            I was trying to adjust the Yamaha and get the DVD to the spot in the presentation they wanted. Apparently someone had recorded the school's presentation on a home DVD that had some adult entertainment all ready recorded on it. I found the right presentation and cued it up. Telling the person who's DVD it was that they'd better stick by to make sure the slides stopped where they were supposed to.

            The singer was trying to make both mics work, I finally went and turned one of them off and brought the other's input level up, the board op couldn't believe that the sound was better and louder from one mic than it was from two mics. I felt like I didn't have time to explain it to him. I was just afraid that whatever was after the current slide show would be far worse than what images were before it so my attention was more focused on the projector input controls.  I managed to blank the presentation at their last slide, good thing, the cheerleaders were posing in much more provocative poses and with much less clothing.

            I finally got out from the tech area and the principal of the school cornered me and demanded that I fix the system permanently. I tried to explain that each performance was going to be different, and she would always need someone to monitor the sound if she were having more than one mic, and more than one presenter. Not everyone's voice is the same loudness, or even picked up the same by the microphone. I offered to train someone and give them a couple of different setup diagrams they could use. I could tell she just wanted it to be completely plug and play, or that the district would send someone out to do it, but I knew that was not something I wanted to commit to. (Especially since I really couldn't commit the tech department to anything.)


            The dream before that was more about things skittering across the roof and dropping down into the backyard, then sneaking off into the darkness. Not really bothering with us, but creepy.


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Tuesday, September 26, 2006

Nightmares, Soulless Rave, Alien Ninja Invasion

            Again with the nightmares. This time I started in the background listening to a conversation between a couple of young women. The blonde convinced her friend to come along with her to a special midnight event. She then leaked where she was going to her mother. Mom packed up her daughter and followed them over, in order to see what was going on.

            The rave was in an underground amphitheater. The stands were filled with all sorts of creepy looking souls. It dawned on the friend that these souls were, in fact, the soulless, vampires, nosferatu, zombi and werewolves of all stripes. The rows near the door were filled with the ones who would trade sex for safety once the festivities began. (The blonde explained this to her friend as they were finding their seats.)

            The friend nearly panicked. She tapped mom on the shoulder. The blonde was bouncing her smaller sister around, "Gotta tenderize you for the feast," and other such non-endearments. The friend smacked the blonde on the back of the head. "Fine! It doesn't matter anyway!" Blondie slammed the kid down in her mother's lap.

            The friend tugged mom and told her they had to get out of there before they were locked in. They left, hungry eyes following them, and a couple of stalker attached themselves to them. They got past the "protector" crowd and made it out into the hallway. The hallway was full of even seedier looking types. The foyer lead out into the underground parking area, but there were still hundreds of the soulless out there. I noticed elevators nearby and pointed it out, somehow, to the friend. They made for the elevators. Piling into one that arrived. The smiling tall red haired man slammed something into a slot at the top of the elevator and slid it to his right, it lit up a sickly green color. He chuckled as he passed the group, "see you at the party."

            Even mom wasn't tall enough to reach the item and move it. She took her daughter out into the foyer. A couple of the nosferatu were waiting there. I couldn't stay hidden any longer.

            "Get them back in the elevator," I told the friend and reached up out of her to move the object out of the way. The doors immediately began to close.

            "Mommy, go inside," the little one coaxed, but it was too late. Mom was in a hypnotic state, walking towards one of the nosferatu, who just smiled at the friend, until he saw my shadow. He backed away, bumping into the elevator vampire, who was lunging towards the mom and daughter.

            My shadow was huge, wide at the top, with pointed ears, and a head surrounded by a mane. I put a foot in front of the door to slow it down, I knew I couldn't stop it as it was being closed by some force other than the elevator door motors.

            The daughter leaned out into the friends arms and I pulled them both back into the elevator. but we couldn't rescue mom. My arm and hand were enormous, and not fully human. My fingers were stubby and round and the nails were more like cat's claws.  I couldn't hold the doors and without mom running back there was not way I could pull her in and keep the others safe at the same time.

            The friend almost ran back out of the doors when she turned and saw me, but I had her by that time and the doors shut. I faded to nothing as the elevator rode to the upper parking level. I wanted to stay to protect them as they made their way to the car, but couldn't keep myself there. I had to hope the burning innocence of the small daughter and the speed and good sense of the friend would protect them from any stragglers.

            I had the disturbing feeling that I had violated some sort of agreement to interfere as much as I had. I suspect that my horrific dream continence was the only thing that may prevent the soulless ones from realizing that I'd interfered.


            The feeling of having trespassed, and now reaping the result carried over into the dream that I had when I fell back to sleep. (I was surrounded by the fur children.) I had one of those wonderful dreams where I could swear I was awake in bed. I could feel the cats pressed against me for warmth, three on my legs and one between N and me, but I could not move, or speak. As I was laying there, a dark woman sat up in bed next to me and leaned over to press her shriveled dead lips against mine, her hand reaching between my legs. I couldn't move. I could feel my breath being pressed out of me as she rolled onto my chest. Suddenly, there was a large cat presence in the room and the night-hag turned to look over her shoulder and fled, leaping away into the ceiling.

            I immediately knew I was sleeping still, and got up (still dreaming) and went outside to see what was on the roof. There was a circular object in the sky hovering over the house; it had five wedge segments lit beneath a black circle with glowing silver glyphs around its circumference and in the sections separating the wedges. The center of the wedges emitted a reddish orange glow, but very dim, like looking into backlit flesh.

            N came out to see what was going on. I moved around to the side of the house. The gate was still the new wooden gate, but the fence portion was the low stone wall with the iron fence on top, like I'd wanted. There were animals of all sorts in the back yard, an elephant, on two legs, but human sized, a jackal headed man, a couple of crocodiles. I think there was a bear and a hyena headed woman. Oddly enough, I wasn't worried about them, I called N over to show her our visitors. She was less than pleased to have a backyard full of uninvited guests, but wasn’t too disturbed by their odd appearance.

            Soon, though, a bunch of people in dark clothing jumped down from the flying disk. They landed on the roof in less than a light footed manner, cracking several of the roofing tiles. The elephant trumpeted and the beings with wings flapped up to the roof to meet the ninja-like beings, driving them over the roof and into the front. I got N into the car, then found myself wrestling a couple of the thick velvety aliens. The Hyena and Jackal brayed and dove at the aliens, driving them off of me. The elephant came over to me and told me I had to stay, no transforming here, let them take care of this.

            I am still not sure what "this" is, but watched as the aliens were driven off down the street.


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Monday, September 25, 2006

Nightmares Helicopter Ice Rescue, Bus Accident, Uneasy Show Dream.

            I had multiple nightmares, all involving fire or ice, or both. The first one found a pair of scientists out mountain climbing when the senior member revealed he was a mutant with the power to spew fire. This was not a good time to rejoice in this ability, he was melting the ice shelf that his companion was trying to set climbing hardware into. I was on the helicopter that was following their progress and monitoring the devices they were planting to monitor the movement in the icy crevasse.  We flew in to rescue the two.

            The Mutant tossed a fireball at us, catching our tail rotor. The woman had already attached herself to our safety line, so we lifted her off the face of the cliff just before tons of melting ice crashed through the place where she'd been hanging. The ice had been artistically melted to look like an arched colonnade; it collapsed under its own weight almost taking us with it. The mutant was still connected to us by his safety line, but didn't want to swing out and be pulled out. Instead, he made a fiery jump to the skids of the chopper. It suddenly got very warm in there.

            The woman climbed up into the chopper with us but the scientist insisted on riding below us while shooting fire into the air behind us. I tried to talk him into shutting it down so we could land safely, but he was just manic. He melted the metal on the skid where he was hanging on and dropped down to the safety tether, which, having been exposed to severe heat just necked out twenty or thirty feet, then snapped.

            He jetted flames towards the ground, but there apparently wasn't enough thrust to slow him down significantly. He smashed into a carport of a remote mountain home and burst into flames. The pilot of the chopper headed to ground. “What are the odds of hitting anything way up here?”

            He dropped us off so he could deploy the water bucket and help put out the fire, it would be 25 minutes or more before any fire units could get there. I took the other scientist to the house with me to warn the occupants, and to see if we could help move vehicles and possessions out of the flaming mess. She was not too happy about helping out, as she would have to see the remains of the splattered doctor. We also started a bucket brigade, but the metal of the carport roof itself seemed to be on fire. When the helicopter arrived with the bucket it did put out the fire, and drenched us as well in water that was alternately steaming and nearly frozen (having come from the lake at the base of the glacier.)


            My second dream involved sliding in a bus on an ice covered road. The bus went over the steep hillside and crashed through several trees, snow piling in on top of us. I can’t imagine that anyone survived. I know I didn’t.


            The third dream of the morning found me on stage, performing in an improv troupe. We decided to replay the "You Can't Take it With You" play, so I took my role as Mr. DePinna. Unfortunately we decided to start with the second act, in which I have one of the first lines, expository, explaining that the family’s basement business was completely ruined, and, though I know it, I couldn't remember it in the dream. It is very weird to remember your lines but not be able to say them, almost like I wasn't actually myself; I was just along for the ride. No one else, though, knew any of the lines, so I started feeding them hints to get the action moving. I went to the printing press, which for our improv had been replaced with a welding rig. Unfortunately, it wasn't just a prop. The gas was on and I didn't know it. I hit the starter and flames shot about 5 feet into the air. I'm glad it wasn't aimed at anyone. "Now that's a pipe lighter." I covered, but having live flame on a set is a real nightmare and inside I was terrified.

            "Haven't you had enough of playing with fire?"

            "Yeah, your smoking habit has nearly killed us all!"

            "Everything is burned up, even my pipe!"

            And we were off on an anti-smoking intervention for Mr. DePinna. Now that's comedy, though not what George S. Kaufman and Moss Hart were thinking of when they wrote it.


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Thursday, September 14, 2006

Alien Archeologist

            I dreamed I was a pterodactyl like archeologist. I had overseen the uncovering of a baseball park. (Though in the dream I was only dimly aware of what it was.) I had gathered a group of humans (Cloned from viable materials found in earlier excavations and now carefully nurtured and restored.) We'd discovered they were very curious as to their own racial history so we'd restored this ballpark from some educated guesses and images that were still available on various media. We enlisted the aide of the humans to try to figure out the rules of the game. We had found many such amphitheaters around the world, but mostly on some small islands and the center of one of the continental masses.

            We knew vaguely what the original language for things was and how things sounded. We had taught some of the terminology to the humans and were hoping by recreating what we knew we would be able to see what information was missing. It was strange, as the alien, I had no real idea what baseball was about, but as myself, in the back part of the alien mind, I could tell I was missing important information. It was like I could almost access what I knew as a human, as though part of my soul knew and loved baseball, but I couldn't quite access it.

            I also got to carry one of the human babies in my mouth to pass it from one parent to the other. It needed changing so I joked with them that I could not eat such a stinky baby. Everyone around laughed. I realized the humans were speaking a version of our language, highly accented, as their vocal cords were higher pitched than most of my race. (This caused many of my colleagues to mistakenly think of them as chicks. They were every bit as intelligent as us, and sometimes frighteningly more clever.)     The game progressed and we went over some of the writings we'd found and some of the images to fine tune what we were doing. I finally declared that although the teams were larger, it looked "right" to have nine people on the field. (My current self rejoiced at getting through to my dream self.) There were 11 for that other game, football, which with two goal nets and a single ball was fairly easy to figure out. This baseball game thing didn't seem to have any timed periods and I was uncertain that there could always be three outs. It turned out in practice that that wasn't an issue between teams that were fairly evenly matched.

            It was very interesting to see us through the eyes a very different race.


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Wednesday, September 13, 2006

Robbery, Floating Dreams

I Dreamed I heard voices, and by the time I struggled up from a sound sleep, made it back to my office, the place had been emptied of anything that plugged into a power receptacle, as well as my desk and rocking chair. I think the telescope was gone as well.


I then dreamed I was able to float using a couple of bent pieces of wood and some sort of static electric current that ran just above the height of my outstretched hands. At one point A was trying to lift me up into the stream so I could coast down again.


Then I heard voices, and struggling awake, I made my way back to my Office. I was angry that I hadn’t listened to my previous dream and gone and locked the window. Everything that plugs into the electrical sockets was gone, as was the telescope, rocker and the huge green metal desk. I realized that the desk would not have fit out the window without being disassembled, so I woke up.


I did lock the window this morning before I left for work.


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Tuesday, September 12, 2006

Colonizing Mars Dream

Mars, recently terraformed, thin air outside the domes, barely breathable.


            Accident, damages the domes. I manage to make my way to a previously installed habitat, a "secret" that I knew about from a previous research effort. It was non operational; with a couple of pumps and some makeshift scrubbers I was able to get the thing pressurized for use again. It helped that there was now an atmosphere that could be used to recharge the air cylinders and eventually I knew we would figure out how to add pressurized ventilation to the system.

            The rest of the crew made their way over and spruced the place up. Once we got power to everything, and moved some of our domes over, the place looked pretty good. We figured that we should have time to make things secure before the next asteroid fall. The terraforming wasn't really finished; we were still having water delivered along with some easily recovered minerals.

            I was taking advantage of the lighter gravity with one of the bouncier crewmates when there was a bright light and static noise from the communications room. We reluctantly dressed and raced to see what was going on. It seems we'd awakened an alien presence, one that was overjoyed to communicate again. It didn't seem to have any trouble learning our language, in true science fiction fashion. I couldn't get through the throng of people to actually see what it looked like on the view screen.


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Monday, September 11, 2006

Terrorist Attack, Wet Dream

            The anniversary of the 9/11 attacks has been on my mind. I dreamed that the old HS I used to work at was being attacked by Osprey riding terrorists. Somehow I managed to be ready for them with my hunting rifle. Unfortunately, like in most of my previous dreams, although I could shoot the aircraft (causing engine failure) I couldn’t actually shoot the terrorists, unless I shot them in the leg or butt. If I aimed for any head or torso shot the trigger wouldn't even pull.

            This was a big clue that I was dreaming, and I complained about it verbally in the dream, but otherwise the dream just kept moving right along and I kept shooting the invaders in their legs until I was out of ammunition. (Didn't help that I could only fire 5 rounds at a time without reloading. (No clip for the rifle, so 4 in the magazine and one in the chamber was all I got. I had two boxes of bullets, but didn't think I would get to shoot more than one reload, as soon as the terrorists figured out that I could only fire a few rounds at a time they would just rush my position. (I was in a planter overlooking the parking lot where the Osprey had landed.)

            I don’t know why I could shoot the other Osprey like aircraft and cause them to crash when I couldn’t shoot a person directly. I’m not sure how my brain is rationalizing that. Perhaps I figure it’s gravity that’s killing them rather than me, still, it doesn’t make any sense.


            The second dream of the morning was much nicer. N and I were having a little cuddle, pretty much a repeat of rather delightful past experiences.


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Friday, September 08, 2006

Tour Bus Breakdown Sermon

            Dreamed I was with a performing group that included N, Sq, SV and his bride as well as a half dozen former students, all now grown. Our tour bus had broken down in a small town in Oklahoma or Texas.

            We somehow ended up in a small school multipurpose room. When we woke the next morning we found ourselves with company, a church group. They were quite kind until, when they were passing out their plastic-wrapped individual sized crosses, they came to one that was horribly misshapen. In fact it was almost bent into the Egyptian Eye of Horus. Nothing would have come of it, except I said, "I'll take that one."

            There followed a huge discussion about how the breadstick had been corrupted by the devil. I couldn't restrain myself, launching into a discussion of how weak their god must be if the devil could get in and corrupt their holy bread making machine. "Isn't it far more likely that this one was made at the start or the finish of the run and the batter was a little bit off?" In other words, a simple mistake.

            But they would have none of it. So, of course, I had to ratchet the rhetoric up. (OK, I have a bit of a mean streak in me sometimes.) I pointed out that if they were going to insist that it was the devil who goofed up the cross-in-plastic individual serving, then perhaps we should entertain the idea that their god wasn't worth worshipping. This argument was not without some sympathy from the group. I then argued that if there really is a god then wouldn't god be bigger than that?

            I think it was the "if there really is a god" part that got them a little hostile. I then ended up somehow explaining that the words, the story, the concepts were valid, even without a “smiter” on the other end to make them valid. Being animals with a language and the awareness that other people think, hope, and believe much as we do creates a society, rather than just a flock or herd. How much more free are we when we choose to be civilized, rather than are forced into by the threat of fiery eternal doom? Acts that are charitable and good are made even more so by the realization that the choice to behave or not has no supernatural arbiter. Not only are we then truly free, but we are ultimately responsible for our own actions and thoughts.

            There is no devil to make us do it, only our own selfish needs. That concept is a little too liberating for some. If you control the god concept you can control people. If you don't, then you have to convince people, educate them, and trust them. That is a difficult thing for many. It also means you have to accept that some people think differently than you, and, as long as they aren't forcing you to follow along, that's all right.

            In the dream I delivered quite the sermon.


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Thursday, September 07, 2006

Parking Lot Conflict

            I dreamed I was in a fight in a parking lot because a couple of young men had taken the Chrysler symbol off the back of N's new hovercraft.

            It almost wasn't a fight, the young man, who I'd caught with the symbol, was about to return it to me, when his partner showed up, so figuring the odds were now two to one he decided to fight.

            They didn't take into account that N is a veteran foot stomper, and soon it was back to one on one. I gave the greasy haired youngster a super atomic wedgie, and made him lay on the ground until the police could come and collect them. I told him they could have walked away if they'd just returned the symbol and left us with enough cash to get the damage repaired. But no, now they were going to go to jail and they would have to pay a larger restitution, not to mention all the time behind bars.


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Tuesday, September 05, 2006

Underwater Tables, the Dream that Wouldn't End.

            Again, the dream where I'm in a harbor, walking on folding tables that are just below the surface of the water. This time there was a little twist. I was trying to fold them all up and get them back to the dock. There was a chain-link fenced area under the dock to store the tables. I would walk out to the end of the line of table and pick the end one up, bring it up to the one I was standing on and fold it up, then trudge it all the way back to the storage unit. All the while I am doing this task the tide is surging, lifting some of the tables and moving them out of line. I also notice that every trip out, though not as far at the previous, the water is a little bit deeper. I finally started folding and returning two at a time. About four tables from being complete I realized that I was just dreaming, and didn't really have to complete this task the way it was set to me. I jumped off the table into the water and folded the last of the tables while standing on the rocky bottom of the bay, then brought them all in.

            The dream wouldn't end. I was wading around wondering what I was supposed to do. My task was complete. The water was rising; I was able to climb up onto the dock. There were no boats tied up, and the small shack at the head of the dock was closed for the season. I could see other boats out in the water, but I knew none of them were coming to my dock. I started looking around, but there wasn't anything on the land's end of the dock. It was as though the dream wasn't supposed to go any further than that; the set was incomplete. I thought it would be nice to sail out onto the bay, but I didn't have a boat to do that with. I paced the length of the dock, hoping I would dry out in the last of the sun's rays, I didn't think it would be very warm once the sun went down. All the while I am aware that I am dreaming all this, but no wanting to take control and make the dream go somewhere else or end. It was as though I was trying to figure out something from this, and I just wasn't getting it.


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