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Fermius Firefly

A Dream Log, whenever I remember the dreams I've had.

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Location: San Marcos, United States

Fermius is a pen name drawn from a series of short fiction I wrote when I published the small press magazine Stellanova (on paper.) I play RPG games to escape from my daily grind as a technology wage slave for the state of California. I eat out a lot in order to do my part in supporting our increasingly service level economy. I am butler to 2 feline masters. If you ask them they will tell you I'm not very good at it, late with dinner, don't have enough hands with brushes in them, and sometimes I even lock them out of their office.

Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Diablo 2.5

    I was sitting at the computer, talking to some other older gamers and we got to talking about Diablo and how we'd never really figured out how to make a full RPG out of it, as it just didn't have all the bells and whistles for making it happen. I suggested that perhaps that was just a failure of imagination on our part rather than blaming the game for not being what it wasn't ever meant to be.
    One thing led to another and we were all soon loading up the "new" version of the game and logging in to play in a shared game. The game was pretty much the same as I remembered, except there were some new critters to bash. Having the audio helped and soon we were too absorbed in trying to stay alive to keep everything in character.
    "This just doesn't stop, does it?"
    "Well, yes, in a way, we just have to fall back a bit."
    "Still, I have to admit that the action pace doesn't allow for much RP to happen," I admitted. "I guess I'll stick to my idea of 'fast turn based' for any Online RPG I design."
    "The new critters are pretty, and the colors and particle effects are cool."
    I had to agree, the look of the old Diablo had been updated with a much richer color palette and better shading and lighting effects, not truly dynamic, but a very good approximation. I also thought the critter animations were much fuller and weightier feeling. When the angelic critters landed to fight, the ground shook and their legs flexed, their clothing and hair had bounce and follow-through, very convincingly done.

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Monday, May 30, 2011

I Want to Go Home! and One of Us!

    This morning's hypnopompic hallucination featured a child's voice saying, in the way one might say "I want to go to Disneyland!" when asked where to go next, "I want to go home!"
    If I hadn't been paralyzed I probably would have been beaming ear to ear; the voice was just that happy.

    The dream I had before that was pretty much a standard "Escape from Zombie Invasion" dream in which several people I don't know were trapped in the center of a small town. The undead citizens were closing in on us and we had to pick a direction to try to fight our way out of it. In the process one of us was bitten, and since he knew he was going to turn he chose to stay and fight off the zombies. Only thing was, he ran at them shouting "Soon I will be one of you!"
    "One of us!" the zombies started mumbling and shuffling around like they were dancing. They completely forgot to chase us. It was enough of a distraction for the rest of us to make it out to where people's cars were parked, and presumably to get away.

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Sunday, May 29, 2011

New Job, Hypnopompic Hallucination

              The dream started, or at least my memory of the dream started, with me meeting a new technician. He stood on the other side of the cube wall from me. We shook hands and introduced ourselves, and then I added him into the work order tracking system, not by sitting down at a computer and typing anything in, but by dialing up an input vector on a phone like device with a red tube display panel (like on an old HP calculator.) I spoke his name into the device and then spelled it when prompted.
              After we got all his details situated, I stood up and found a smaller version of the device, plugged it into my console, and then dialed up another function. After pressing a button, a couple of whirring noises and a loud ding, his device was programmed. I unplugged it and handed it to him. “Welcome aboard,”
              I showed him how I had the remote headset configured on my personal system. “Let's go meet the rest of the team.”
              “Okay, sir.”
              “You don't have to call me sir, I'm the same job as you, just in a different location.”
              “Yes , sir.”
              I just smiled and took the new tech into the meeting room.
              The room was wood panel on the lower third, below a brass chair rail with imbedded red tube displays. The upper two thirds of the walls were a dark charcoal gray that shimmered when we stepped into the room and then cleared, making it look like we were in a large meeting hall, standing on a railed platform. There were about sixty or seventy other technicians in the room all standing or sitting facing our platform.
              “Good morning, Boss”
              “Hey, Captain.”
              “Mister coordinator, sir.”
              And a couple of “Hi! D” were tossed about as we logged into the meeting.
              “Not the boss, eh?”
              “Just filling in until we hire someone.”
              “It's been six months now,” one of the techs in front said. “I think they've hired someone.”
              And then the complaints about my not being paid for the job started and I raised my hand to bring them back to order. In what was almost a complete surprise to me, the room fell silent immediately.
              “We have a new technician,” I introduced the new guy to the crowd, a pretty good mix of young and old, genders and races.
              “Which brings us to the first item on the agenda, this job will be filled next, so get your applications in.”
              There was some discussion again, but I brought them back to order and zoomed through the rest of the agenda, reminding them that we were in the business of helping people, not helping computers.
              I then stepped aside so the boss could address the group. He then told them what I had just told them, but instead of fifteen seconds it took half an hour.
              When the meeting dismissed we stayed and chatted a bit. He was concerned that if he hired a new coordinator that the team would still look to me for leadership (which let me know that he'd all ready chosen someone else.) He made some vague promise of having my regular job (which I'd still been doing in addition to coordinating the team) re-classified and the pay assigned retroactively. I knew that would only happen if I pushed very hard for it, so just smiled and said “that would be nice.”
              In my heart I realized that I would probably have to retire and then come back to work at my old job half time to actually get a raise out of the deal. This made me a little sad, and a lot tired.

              This morning, I had a hypnopompic hallucination, started with the classic paralysis, sweating, the feeling of presences holding me down (cats most likely) and then the clear as day woman's voice, “Wake up and find your Wife, Douglas.”
              This could be difficult seeing as how N left six months ago.

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Saturday, May 28, 2011

Chess Match

I dreamed last night that I was playing in a chess tournament. My opponent had three women sitting behind him with large pom-poms. They sat quietly until he reached out and made a move. Then they jumped up, revealing very long shapely legs and tight tummies with a bit of under-boob showing below the very short tops they were wearing.

I remember thinking, "who brings cheerleaders to a chess match?" And wondering if their jumping around on my clock time was going to be allowed.

In a later dream I was surrounded by some rough looking sorts after stepping outside of a very crowded bar for some air.

"Since we outnumber you, we're going to let you hit first." The biggest and easily ugliest of them told me while gesturing to his chin.

"Really, you sure?"

They all just laughed, the ugly one the loudest.

So I lit them all on fire with a wall of flame that jetted out from every part of my body and pushed them back several feet.

Oddly, I was not expecting that at all, so much so that it woke me up.

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Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Anxiety is Flowing Blue and Gold Checkers

        Woke up from a particularly blue and gold flashing colors and pulsating lights sort of pure visual dream that was somehow anxiety causing at the same time. (Only rarely are my dreams so synesthsiatic, but my waking memories and experiences almost never are.)

        When I fell back to sleep after this dream, I dreamed I was trying to describe the previous dream and all I could come up with was blue and gold checker board patterns projected onto a cauliflower like surface, but that surface also boiled and moved. The blue was fairly steady, a bit lighter than a royal blue, but the gold flashed and pulsed, white, yellow and gold but not in a metallic sort of way.

        In my dream recitation it sounded more exciting, and took far longer to figure out. I swear the entry in the dream was a couple of hundred words, rather than this paltry couple of dozen.

Ad astra per technica,

Monday, May 23, 2011

T's Carpool, Hillside Restaurant, After Closing

        I dreamed that TC had driven down to visit. We decided to gather all of us half-centurions together and have a belated bday celebration at Magic Mountain. T was driving and we were taking turns at riding shotgun as we found that none of us wanted to be behind T as his seat, in order to drive comfortably, had to be within inches of the back seat. When it was finally my turn in the front seat I stretched my legs out and the seat dropped back. Tilting me up to look through the sunroof at the large puffy clouds.

        If these clouds stick around it is going to be a great day for roller coasters.

        Its always a great day for roller coasters, MS stated.

        So, how many of us can actually ride, given the restrictions on neck and spine injuries? AH asked.

        We hadnt pulled out of the rest stop yet, the silence of the answer hung in the car.

        How about we run out to the opal mines, instead? SCV suggested, I don’t like roller coasters anyway, and they then all reached for their cell phones in unison to call their spouses.

        Okay by me, I was enjoying the puffy clouds and was glad Id brought the camera, as there were some great cloud rabbits.

        I was back in the old part of the city, having just gotten out of a live performance of some sort. On a whim, I decided to run down to the Hillside Restaurant, just on the off chance that the kitchen hadnt closed yet.

        When I got there, only the family and a few of the staff were there. They had closed early as all their patrons had left before midnight. They wanted to open up and cook me something, but I insisted that they go ahead and clean up and go home early, I would be able to conjure something up at home.

        Whered you park? one of the bartenders asked.

        Down at the bottom of the hill, in front of the warehouses. I never know if Im going to want to trudge uphill after getting out of here.

        Why dont you go with him? the owner suggested in a way that suddenly made me feel nervous. The bartender looked nervous too.

        Id been away awhile, and was wondering why everyone had to be nervous, this part of town had always been very safe.

        We left the building and headed down the hill. We passed a couple of the night people, mere shadows lurking around the mouths of the ally way and leaning on the trashcans and paper bins on the sidewalk. I wished them a good evening, but the bartender just nodded and sped us on by. Most people find the night people unsettling, but for some reason, I never have.

        As we got to the well lit intersection at the bottom of the hill, the bartender looked around the corner, paled and then ran back up the hill, not even making a pretext of looking back to make sure I was following.

        I wanted to take a look around the corner myself, but I also wanted to make sure that the bartender got back to the restaurant okay. So, with a grunt, I turned and started jogging after him. As I ran back up the hill, I saw that the night people had all crouched down behind parked cars and were completely off the sidewalk. Whatever was behind me had frightened them, and thats not usually very easy to do. I cut through the alley after the bartender, but he was much younger and faster than I was, so had vanished up the coast road, headed for the back entrance of the restaurant.

        I noticed a couple of local toughs crouched ready to fight, until whatever was behind me ran out onto the street. They jumped a chain-link fence and took off running between the businesses on the hillside that went down to the beach.

        I finally wondered why I was running away. I turned to face whatever was chasing me, a crackling orb of electricity forming around my body. The bolts of static lit the street, and the night people drew back into the shadows.

        Whatever had come through the alley behind us had stopped and vanished completely from view by the time I had turned around. I could still detect it was there, as could the night people, all of whom were moving quietly and quickly out away from the street.

        Show yourselves! I called out, not because I expected them to, but to lure them into thinking that I didnt know where they were. I began to suspect that they were vampires, of a sort.

One of the night people, from the group Id wished a good evening on,  broke up a wooden pallet with a high leap and then tossed the shattered wooden spikes into the street before slipping down into a storm drain. I smiled, now completely understanding who my antagonists were. I strode down the street, moving into the middle of the roadway. The vampires, still invisible, were only a few meters away, still all in a little knot of hungering hatred.

I reached out and the large wooden splinters joined the swirling bolts of electricity (which I now knew would be merely irritating to my quarry.)

Unfortunately that gave my intent away, and they were suddenly aware that they had become the prey. The group split into four distinct presences  who jetted down the street into the warehouse district. I was only able to catch one of them.

I headed back to the restaurant, I knew they had guest rooms there, I hoped that one would still be available, as Id decided to stay downtown a few more nights.

Ad astra per technica,

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

UFO Chase, on Foot!

A UFO zipped across the sky and shot down at an angle that convinced the four of us that it would crash or land some relatively small distance away. I managed to get my camera out and take a couple of shots, which I knew would be the classical blurry variety as the object was pretty far away. We immediately began running after it. A and C both taking off at a good clip, as they were in better shape than myself. There was a young woman, just a bit shorter than myself, with thick black curly hair and dark brown eyes with a light coppery rim. I dont recognize her as someone I know, but rather than outrunning all of us, she chose to stay back with me, as I was the slowest of the bunch.

As we ran out of the park, trying not to stumble down a wide concrete stairs, and then down a rural street, we came across the sports fields of a school. There was a football game going on, and the band was just coming off the field. A and C ran through the field, and I temporarily lost sight of them amongst the shiny red, blue and gold band uniforms.  I slowed and headed around the field, not wanting to cut through the event. The YW seemed grateful for going around. Even though we werent keeping up real well with A and C, just barely moving faster than a jog, we were keeping a steady pace and actually made up most of the distance, as A and C had to make their way through the crowd on the other side of the bleachers.

By the time we ran off the campus and back out into a recently harvested field, I was having a little trouble with my asthma, I think the recently cut straw and dust was creating an issue. I had to stop and took the time to pull out my camera and take another couple of shots of the UFO as it settled behind some trees in the distance. A and C were almost the edge of the field at the bottom of the shot, I could see that they were slowing down, walking rather than running at this point.

I took a couple of zoomed in shots while waiting for the YW, she was hunched over, hands on knees, out of breath. My legs were cramping, but I wasnt really out of breath, aside from the slight asthma. I asked if she was ready to go on, and now it was me who was staying back for her as she could barely maintain a slow jog, hand clutching her side trying to mitigate the stitch in my side.

Ad astra per technica,

Monday, May 16, 2011

Broken Ankle

I dreamed this morning that I was taking a tour of a theater where a show was being put together. One of my former students was the Technical Director overseeing the installation. As we made our way down a ramp we had to duck under a lighting truss. She slipped and rolled down the ramp a ways.

When I got to her, I could see immediately that her ankle was at an unnatural angle. She wanted to get up and get out of the way, but I stepped in to insist that she wait until we could stabilize her ankle and get the paramedics here to move her.

She insisted that it would be okay.

I assured her that her ankle was quite broken and she really didnt want to try to move around.

She ignored me, tried to sit up, put pressure on the broken ankle and immediately passed out. I barely managed to catch her shoulders and keep her from smacking her head on the ramp. For some reason her crew were unwilling to help, even though they obviously wanted us out of the way. I tried to argue that the faster we brought help in the faster they could get back to work.

Ad astra per technica,

Squeaky Wheels

        This morning I dreamed I was at work in a new location. I had been moved to an office so my phone call voice wouldn't be heard all over the cubes nearby. This apparently created some resentment and I got into work one morning and found my chair had been replaced with a hardwood kitchen chair with cheap casters bolted on to it.

        I sat in the chair, and rolled it around a bit. The casters were quite noisy, but it actually rolled easier and spun better than my previous chair. It also had arm rests that were exactly the right height, or at least would be with about two inches of padding on the wooden seat.

I rolled it around the cubes asking to borrow a pillow from various folks until I could go buy my own.

        Squeak Squeeeeeak!

        "What is that?"

        "My new chair! How cool is this?" I would then spin the chair as fast as I could. "It's almost perfect! all I need is some lumbar support and a butt cushion. Can I borrow your pillow?"

        "Uh, no, I'm using it, ask B if she has a spare."

        "Oh, Okay, thanks."

        Squeak, squeak, squeeeeak!

        After squeaking around the office for about ten minutes I rolled back into my office, took care of a couple of emails, and then left to go to the restroom.

        When I got back my regular padded chair was back at my desk, no sign of the squeaky kitchen chair. Even though I started out the morning faking it, I was really getting attached to that chair.

        I really hope I'm not "that guy" at work. Now I'm afraid to go in this morning.

Ad astra per technica,

Thursday, May 12, 2011

Midlife Crisis, Dinosaurs

        I dreamed last night that I purchased a dark green sports car, two seater, like a Miata, but more 40s roadster looking in the grill and front end. It had brown leather seats and a brown leather top. Even in the dream I was thinking I must be crazy as the poor car would never be parked under cover until I retired. I rationalized the purchase to myself by arguing that it was my midlife crisis and I could do what I wanted with it. I love it when my dream mind and waking mind argue, thats perfectly normal, right?

        In a later dream I was being chased by a large dark purple and green dinosaur. No matter how I twisted and turned, nor how fast I went, it was right there behind me. As I ran I started to become very winded and soon it caught up to me. Not sure what happened then, but next thing I know, Im riding the large beast, herding a bunch of triceratops like dinosaurs across the bushy flatlands.

Oddly, I was singing, but in Latin. (Sadly, I didnt sound any better than I would in my waking life.)

Shortly after that I was in my office, much cleaned up, with only three book cases and a pretty dark-wood computer desk. I was working on translating the Latin lyrics from the previous dream. Im pretty sure the lyrics were from the limerick I had written for a forum post earlier in the week:

A young priestess, sweet Mercymay,

Set out for Goldshire one day.

What she learned in that Inn

of fur, feather and fin,

Made her rush back to the abbey to pray.

I suspect the Latin wouldnt be quite as poetic.