Tub Triathalon a Classicly Surreal Dream

           I was in the bathroom filling the tub with water. An announcer began a sports commentary. Apparently, I am in some sort of triathalon. It starts with a dive and swim across the tub.
           "A dive? Swim? I'm going to have to be a lot smaller."
           Suddenly I was shrinking, and when I had shrunk to about 1/2 size I stepped across to the soap dish, and was suddenly on a small platform over a pool. I don't know any dives, so just jumped in, turning a half turn to land facing the side of the tub/pool. Once in I had to wait for the announcer to clue me in to what I was supposed to be doing. Turns out I was towing a boat with 500 lbs of bikini clad women in it to the other end of the pool, where I had to find and press a button under the water. I swam with the tow rope in my mouth and using a crawl mixed with a frog kick, that combo seemed to get the boat moving faster.
           The boat didn't slow as it approached the far edge of the pool, I realized that there was no way I could stop it, either. I dove under it and the boat coasted overhead, slamming into the side of the pool. A couple of the women fell out of the boat into the pool. I boosted them out of the water to the side of the deck. While I was helping them out of the water the announcer was commenting that I'd still lost less time than if I'd tried to slow the boat down. As I was lifting the last woman out of the water I was pushed under far enough to see the button I was supposed to push, so I swam for it as soon as I felt her feet pull away from my shoulders.
           I almost ran out of air, reached under the lip of the tub into the corner, pushed the button, then swam for the surface. I inhaled water with my fist breath and started coughing, (Still haven't stopped.) I realized that I had to swim back to the soap dish, so started back doing a back stroke as I wasn't ready to stick my face back under the water. I reached my destination and found that I had to climb about 20 feet of sheer concrete to get back to the patio/dish. I managed to get up onto the rim of the tub and leaped up to catch the corner of the washcloth. I found the long blade of a flathead screwdriver caught in the loops and freed it to help me climb. Climbing the giant terry cloth loops was relatively easy after that. I made it up to the soap dish.
           The soap dish became the patio of a small cabana overlooking a cliff facing the ocean. The announcer was on the roof, now holding a long barreled pistol pointed over the roof at me. I managed to flip the gun over and put the screwdriver between her finger and the trigger. She insisted on firing the gun, even though it was no longer pointed at me. It figures. In a dream where I don't want the gun to fire, the gun fires. She collapses over the roof on top of me. I recover the gun and pull her body into the cabana, all the while the announcer is still giving the color commentary, by which I figure out that there are more kidnappers in the building and someone I am supposed to rescue. The announcer woman is unconscious, but still talking. "At least I didn't kill her," I thought to myself. I looked around. The cabana was much larger on the inside than on the outside. There were four doors in the living room like area I'd entered.
           The one opposite was obviously the proper entrance and exit to the cabana. The one of the right was a beaded entry into the rest of the cabana, dining room and kitchen by the looks of it. The door to the left was a bedroom style door. It was locked, of course. I used the screwdriver to force it open.
           "A new record, much faster than searching the terrorist for the keys!" I glanced back at the announcer, she was awake and talking into a spoon. "That would have been fun." She winked at me.
           She then mentioned that I didn't know what was on the other side of the door and the "terrorists had certainly heard that."
           I ducked down behind the couch and made sure there was a round in the chamber of the pistol, not that I thought it would make any difference. Sure enough, two kidnapper/terrorists burst through the beaded curtains. I shot at them as they entered, but the bullet went through the target, having no effect. One at least ducked back behind the wall. The other kept coming. I spun the screwdriver around and jammed it in the barrel of his gun. He looked surprised for a second then pulled the trigger.
           He was really surprised when the slide bucked off and the hammer assembly flew back in his face, not fast enough to severely harm him, but enough for me to kick him and put him down. I pulled a grenade off his vest and rolled it into the other room. I heard a scream and then glass breaking. The other had jumped out a window.
           I hadn't pulled the pin on the grenade, so I knew it wouldn't be long before she came back. I turned and kicked the bedroom door open and found the kidnapping victim tied on the bed. It was a red headed version of Sara Prim, a regular in my dreams. I used the screwdriver to score and rip off the duct tape. I got her to her feet and pushed her out towards the patio.
           "What about my hands?" she shouted.
           "After we're out of here, jump!"
           "I'm not jumping without my..."
           I picked her up and jumped off the patio/soap dish into the pool/tub. Growing as we did so the announcer was giving my total time so far. We sloshed into the tub. I reached around and removed the now soggy duct tape from the now naked and soapy woman. She turned around and shut off the water.
           "I didn't know your freckles went down to there...."
           And I hadn't, either.