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Fermius Firefly

A Dream Log, whenever I remember the dreams I've had.

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Location: San Marcos, United States

Fermius is a pen name drawn from a series of short fiction I wrote when I published the small press magazine Stellanova (on paper.) I play RPG games to escape from my daily grind as a technology wage slave for the state of California. I eat out a lot in order to do my part in supporting our increasingly service level economy. I am butler to 2 feline masters. If you ask them they will tell you I'm not very good at it, late with dinner, don't have enough hands with brushes in them, and sometimes I even lock them out of their office.

Monday, September 07, 2009

Hospital, No!

              Last night I dreamed Dad and I were in the hospital. He was having a stroke or a heart attack, and I was there for some tests. I kept trying to get them to take Dad first, as he was the one with the emergency. Somehow argument I tried ended up with a negative result. They switched my appointment with Dad, then tried to get me to sit in a wheelchair to go down to emergency. They canceled my appointment. I finally managed to get the attention of a doctor, and asked him “What's wrong with that man?” without indicating that I even knew him. The doctor immediately recognized that my dad was in trouble and called for an emergency team. The admitting nurse was very angry with me and wouldn't remake my appointment.
              I pulled out my notebook and made a point of looking at her badge and carefully writing down her name. I called the appointment number and asked if there'd been a cancellation and could I get right in, as I was at the hospital to drop off my dad. They scheduled me for my own appointment over the phone.

              This morning I was dreaming away, about what, I have no clue, when I heard N shout my name, followed by “NO!” in that way that means what one is witness to is so heartbreaking that there are no other words, denial, wish and heartbreak in a single sound.
              I leaped out of bed, “What's wrong?”
              “Wake up! You're dreaming!” N's voice, from the other side of the bed rather than down the hall in her office, where I'd have sworn she was.
              At least I didn't make it all the way out into the garage, or outside. I guess I'm going to have to start wearing pajamas to bed.


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