Waiting to Cross the Lake in Traffic

Waiting in gridlock to cross the lake bridge. I finally got frustrated and pulled the car out of line and parked it on a side street. I made my way up to the front of the line on foot. The on ramp was solidly blocked. I looked out over the bridge, it was clear, there wasn't even any traffic on the freeway leading up to the bridge. There was a large truck sitting on the on ramp blocking it. I looked up into the cab, couldn't see anyone. I climbed up into the vehicle. There was a woman sitting in the passenger seat, but no driver.
"What's up?"
"I need someone to drive us over the bridge."
"Just over the bridge?" I asked.
"Just over the bridge," she said. She then asked for my driver's license. She scanned it in something on the dashboard. "Ut-oh." She held up a five page printout of my driving history.
"Now wait a minute, I only have one ticket, how'd you get 5 pages out of that?"
She showed me the list. It had everything on it that I'd ever done to irritate any driver, the little accidents where I bumped the garage door, or scraped the bushes in the driveway. "These sorts of things are important to me."
"But there was only one ticket, and that was when I was a teenager, on a moped!"
"I see, there it is." She looked concerned about it. "I just don't know."
"It's only across the bridge, why can't you drive it."
"I'm not allowed to drive over bridges."
"Well, who is?"
"I don't know."
"Let me get another truck driver."
"The ones behind me all have worse records than yours."
"One ticket!"
"I just don't know." She looked glum.
"How about if we just roll across the bridge without going over second gear, we can put the flashers on and then park on the off ramp," I suggested.
"I'll think about it," she smiled at me.
I looked at the line of cars patiently waiting to cross the bridge, and realized that I would have to walk back across the lake to come an get my car. I was hopeful that the crowd would be thinned out by the time I could get back on the road in my own car.
"If you drive across the bridge, you have to promise to help me complete the trip, there are more bridges to cross," she said as if reading my mind.

And then there was Miranda bounding across my groin, so I don't know how it turned out. I wish I could remember what was on the side of the truck, but that detail has faded away.
--
ad astra per technica,
FF